Find me one person who has never lied about anything… Don’t bother, because – such a person doesn’t exist. We all lie, rarely or often, for various reasons, to others or to ourselves; it’s something all humans have in common. Only the motives make a difference. So-called “white lies,” but truly such and not those that people justify in their minds as “white” to excuse their actions, can be well-intentioned and effective. As such, they are desirable if they have a justification. The truth, though necessary, is often not pleasant. If you just think about it and pay attention, you will realize that the entire world around us is woven with lies, both “white” and unfortunately “black,” and that from a young age, mostly unconsciously, we adopt lying as a model of behavior. You won’t openly tell a friend that a dress doesn’t suit her well, but you’ll suggest she wears something else; you won’t tell your boss that you went for a job interview at another company but that you need a day off; parents won’t tell their children they are sick because they don’t want to be a burden, etc. All of the above, and countless other examples, represent withholding the truth, i.e., passive lying to protect oneself from discomfort. The motives are numerous, but they mostly boil down to not wanting to offend or hurt someone or wanting to avoid an unpleasant situation. Well-intentioned is also the so-called “motivational lying,” when wanting to encourage someone and “push them forward,” you praise their effort, work, results, and appearance, even if there may not be real reasons for it. Lying as motivation is used as a methodological tool in school, in emotional relationships between partners, and in the family by parents to boost a child’s confidence, among friends, colleagues, etc. There are many examples, and we encounter them daily throughout our lives and accept them as normal things that are taken for granted; we don’t perceive them as lies. They actually are, but they won’t trouble your conscience, nor will anyone negatively judge you for them because – you have a justified goal and you’re not hurting anyone in the process.
On the other hand, the “black,” active lies aim to offend, hurt, and humiliate; they lack humane or ethical motivation and are used only by a certain type of people. Others don’t have the heart or stomach for them. These are usually malicious people, complex-ridden and dissatisfied with themselves. Conscious that they don’t possess value themselves, they find satisfaction in trying to devalue others through criticism, ridicule, and humiliation. A good person will never be extremely arrogant, overbearing, and superior. Great people don’t need to prove themselves or play big in front of others. They are well-mannered and have etiquette. Today, being cultured is seen as “shameful” because culture is often perceived as a weakness. The cult of “strength” is glorified – aggressive behavior, a smug smile, an attitude. It’s necessary to show power and force. All of this is a show and acting. I believe that in a situation of real danger, such people would be the biggest cowards. Do you know that by shouting and being unpleasant to others, you only demonstrate insecurity? Look deep into your soul… Or is that too scary? Are you satisfied?
Lies have short (and fragile) legs, and you can’t base a life on lies. Or you can, but is that really a life? In business, lies are inevitable and a daily occurrence. But they don’t have to be… And they shouldn’t be. A lie is the weapon of those who don’t have other qualities, so they fight dirty. I am sincere, like a child; you can read on my face whether I am happy and cheerful, or sad and dissatisfied, worried… I have not mastered the gift of tact and skillful concealment of emotions even after twenty years of work experience in companies that base their existence on that. Admittedly, I haven’t even tried because I consider it unfair and believe it’s much better when a person is honest and direct. In the business world, it is expected and assumed that you will be a flexible team player who has no right to express their own opinion but has an obligation to accept others’. Of course, no one will ask you this directly, but you will realize it yourself after a short time. You certainly have the right to show your integrity, but you won’t progress in line with your expectations and merits. It’s only a matter of time before you get off the “carousel” and whether you’ll break and damage yourself in the process. People “set” on truth find it hard to fit into corporate collectives; if they do succeed, they are in constant conflict.
More truth and honesty, and less pretending and lying – the world would be a more pleasant place to live.