Negativity is an integral part of our lives; we are so accustomed to it that we often perceive it as completely normal and expected. And when it isn’t, our brain processes it as a danger and thinks about how to survive in the worst-case scenario. This is the law of survival. The natural reaction is: either attack or flee. The author of the book “Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers” explained that for zebras, stress is a three-minute predator attack. After that, either you’re gone or the stress is gone. Humans experience stress differently – they are under constant anxiety, stimulated by various circumstances: work situations, obligations to banks, and caring for children or elderly parents… All of this triggers almost the same physiological reactions as an animal attack. Chronic secretion of the stress hormone cortisol can cause many adverse effects on our physical and mental health. Unfortunately, we only start thinking about it when it’s too late. Of course, human emotions and mechanisms don’t switch on and off like a button, and in practice, it’s not nearly as simple as it sounds in theory, but – it’s worth trying. It’s not easy (and maybe it’s impossible) to always be positive at any cost, but it’s up to us to try our best because how well we succeed will determine what our lives will be like.
Many people become (and some remain) depressed when bad things happen to them. In such situations, it’s very hard to focus on positive thoughts. Continuous depressive moods generate toxins in the blood, called catastates, while feelings of joy and enthusiasm create beneficial chemical reagents, called anastates. The toxins that are “born” from remorse, and generally from bad moods, attack the human body and lead to visible physical deterioration. And that’s something you definitely don’t want for yourself. Psychologists recommend applying a “pattern break,” that is, changing your environment because it will stop unpleasant thoughts. Force yourself to travel to another city, visit a museum or bookstore, have coffee with people who make you feel good… even if you don’t want to and think you don’t have the strength. Other people’s perspectives will surely help you discover “that you are only surrounded by idiots.” It’s better to look around you than to constantly question your actions. Seneca said: “We are more often frightened than hurt, and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.” And there is indeed truth in that.
The secret of positive thinking lies in finding something good every day that makes you happy and grateful. If you start thinking this way and also write down just three good things that happened to you each day, after a while, you’ll realize that not everything is so bad. Redirecting thoughts is a very important and useful skill that should be practiced daily, whenever there is a reason. There is also a technique for stopping dark thoughts – very simple yet effective: put a rubber band around your wrist (like a bracelet) and as soon as a bad thought appears, stretch and release the rubber band to cause pain on your wrist. This way, the brain will associate physical pain with bad thoughts and will reduce them over time. When you feel down, or you want to initiate positive changes, you can also practice visualization techniques. I’ve found them very effective. Allow your mind to create mental images where you enjoy achieving a personal goal. You can use a “wish wall” to encourage your mind to subconsciously seek solutions and guide you toward realization. People communicate easily with images because “a picture is worth a thousand words.” Words can be misinterpreted. With images, there is no mistake. (For example, to clearly position a brand and product, creative agencies use a “moodboard” collage consisting of images of people typical of the target group, pictures of the characteristic atmosphere, and depictions of colors, fonts, and symbols that will make them authentic. Or, an example known to anyone who watches crime movies – they still use a wall with pinned crime scene photos to solve complex cases, trying to connect places, victims, and potential suspects to reach the right conclusion.) Someone said that images are very powerful because they remain etched in memory, and then the brain subconsciously works on solving situations.
There’s always an alternative “pain management program,” which involves taking pills for psychological balancing. I’m not against chemistry for a certain period, as long as the desired result is achieved, but you shouldn’t expect the pills to solve any problem for you because they won’t unless you do something about changing yourself and your way of thinking and experiencing life. Wise management of mind and emotions and achieving a balance between them is a sure path to mental health and to every success.
There are more and more examples of mental imbalances in the business world, which is quite a logical consequence because everyone is under constant pressure and stress. The only difference is how they ended up in such a state: some because they are overly ambitious and always want more (it’s hard to accept personal limitations and be realistic, and every unfulfilled goal is the anteroom of anxiety and depression), and others because they are constantly oppressed by the former. The most important thing is to remain self-aware and not lose confidence because then you will lose yourself. You need to be mentally strong, confront “bullies,” and not accept the role of a victim. If you want to change something, gather the strength to try – you might succeed. The only certain failure is if you don’t dare to change anything. You shouldn’t endure, but seek your right and fight, move forward, and not settle for consolation prizes, inadequate replacements, leftovers… You need to be aware of the brutality that is part of reality. Don’t count on the help of others. Don’t let things that don’t go your way negatively affect you. Be thoughtful and thorough because there are always alternatives. If someone has genuine qualities, a bright future is there, you just need to wait and – endure.
Only Calimero can be charming when he incessantly exclaims and laments: “But that’s injustice! Real, true injustice!” While the rest of us, who live in the real, harsh world, must fight, move forward, and persistently strive for higher goals. Strong people don’t listen to what the world will say. They are often envied, doubted, abandoned… They are lonely, above the abyss, but – the heart knows they are well, despite everything.
Success is never final. Failure is never fatal. It takes courage and time to regroup. Accept that life is often unfair, and there’s nothing you can do about it. What you need, before any fight, is – a change, but one that pertains to you, not to others.