What is love?

Love is the willingness to expand oneself to support one’s own and others’ development and maturity.

It’s an alliance – the joining of two individuals to achieve common goals.

Love is a conscious choice and long-term, while infatuation is instinctual and always temporary. There are different types of love – and they are complex. It’s not just about giving and praising, but also debating, compelling, and criticizing. Love for children is like this – interacting with another being whom you endlessly love and wish well, but whom you must also guide and discipline. Love is work and attention – quality time completely dedicated to another person. The hardest part is letting your child go unprotected into the world. But if you’ve done the previous part (personality development) well, you have nothing to fear. Among the numerous ways to destroy love, distrust and constant complaints are the most detrimental. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. The most important thing in dealing with people is not to interfere with the uniqueness of their small joys.

WABI-SABI AND RELATIONSHIPS – In the wabi-sabi philosophy, our relationship with each person should involve accepting others as imperfect beings, but at the same time, someone who will always learn and progress. For such an approach and relationship, we must appreciate imperfections in ourselves and others, so instead of seeking flaws and perfectionistic expectations, we focus on enjoying the company of the person next to us.

Not from a work, nor from a tenant list

When you spend hours with someone, there’s a high probability that you’ll develop some emotion. Over time, you become close, and the more you know about that person, either sympathy or antipathy arises. In the latter case, you’ll want to spend as little time as possible with that person, but if you like them… You want to have lunch with that person, go for a coffee break, chat via messaging… That person is always on your mind, and feelings grow. You often spend more time with that person at work than with your partner at home. Some call it “work spouse.” The first time I heard it, I was shocked, but the more I think about it, I realize it’s reality. According to some research, more than half of employed people have had some affair with a colleague, believe it or not.

But, it’s not recommended, because everything has its beginning and its end. And when the end comes – emotions don’t extinguish simultaneously, and there’s always one side suffering. How someone will react depends on many factors – how hurt they are, whether they have a motive to stay silent, whether they’re a psychopath, etc. “Who plays with fire, gets burned.” Again, if you embark on this adventure, you need to know yourself very well and know what scenario could happen. Although it’s hard to predict how the injured person will react. There are cases where “partners” are married, and that’s a safer option than when a woman is alone (because she inevitably falls in love and mostly creates unrealistic expectations – that he will divorce). The point is, you can’t (or it’s difficult) to continue working or living in the same building and seeing your ex every day.

In every joke, there is a pintch of humor: “If you truly love someone, leave them alone. That’s the most you can do for a loved one.”